On Loving Yourself

“Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident”- Louis de Berniéres

In recent times, the internet and bookshelves have been bombarded with ideologies on self-positivity and self-love. Many propose that self-love is a crucial factor in propelling individuals into fulfilling lives. While I appreciate the intention of these messages and acknowledge that they can be helpful to some individuals, I do not completely agree with them.

It seems as though these authors assume that the consumers of these messages are without flaws. Unfortunately and realistically, this is not the case. One quote I recently came across said, “you are perfect exactly as you are. With all your flaws and problems, there’s no need to change anything. All you need to change is the thought that you have to change.”

Although I appreciate the sentiment echoed in the quote above, it can be problematic for persons trying to decipher right from wrong in a certain stage of life. It is worse still, for a fellow who is being corrected yet doesn’t see the defects in their character.

Love entails acceptance. Acceptance and then action.Continue reading “On Loving Yourself”

To My Mother, With Love

There was a thing about her, an aura if you like. When she smiled her deep, dark eyes twinkled. Her shoulders jerked up and down with every bellow of laughter. She was quick to plant kisses on my forehead and grab me fondly by the cheek. She was soft and her arms jiggled like jelly when she motioned. When she spoke her mind, never was she without kindness and grace. Her full hips swayed from side to side when she planted one foot in front of another. Her mind was set on who she was and I loved watching her.

Behind the twinkle in her eyes was the look of someone who knew life. She had endured heart-wrenching pain and knew numbing loss. She had been cherished and betrayed and knew the intricacies of living with and without.

She was my mother. She still is.

Continue reading “To My Mother, With Love”